Exciting news again for Miriam Lord! Sarah in 5WS has had her entry in Week 34 of the 100 Word Challenge chosen and published on the actual 100 Word Challenge blog. Over 300 children entered the challenge this week and Sarah’s work was chosen to be showcased. She had to include the phrase ….. suddenly I saw …. somewhere in her 100 words.
Here is her entry :
A rapid whirl wind boomed out of no where through the panic -ricked people of the city.There was no way out of this trapped box all the doors were closed suddenly I saw the ground parting.Wider and wider it came like a mouth catching its prey.The boaring grey road turned up side down into a beautiful red ribbon with all the bright cars whizzing up side down it was a beautiful site but all was bad with the grubby ground it turned into a two faced ugly creautre. It gobbled the entire city I was the only one standing …………….
What comment would you leave for Sarah about her writing? What do you like? What has she done well? Is there anything she could think about next time to make it even better?
Remember, when you leave a comment always be positive first.
All of us at Miriam Lord are incredibly proud of Sarah and we look forward to many more Miriam Lord entries being chosen for the Showcase in the future!
Visit http://bradfordschools.net/blog/miriamlord100wc/ to read and comment on more of our great writing.