Once there was a girl called Sophie who was 8 and lived with her mum. Her mum and dad were divorced. One day a bird flew down and drew a castle. The castle meant a clue. She went inside and everything was pink. One day she went to the castle and it was kind of noisy. It was marvellous what the people were doing. One child shouted noisily in Sophie’s ear. She went into a room that had princess. She shouted “WOW” Now Sophie said “I’m going home.” A princess said “Why do you have to go” Sophie didn’t replie.
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I like the way you have used some good verbs to make your story really good. Keep it up!!!!!!!!!!