This was no ordinary ice cream it was chocolate the finest ever ice-cream in the whole world. It was the yummiest ice-cream I had tasted. I just wanted to eat more and more so I borrowed my dad’s pound. I chased the ice-cream man until he stopped. I asked “Could I have two chocolate ice-creams” the ice-cream man replied “That is £1 altogether” I scurried home to eat the chocolate ice-cream. I came home to an angry dad “Have you nicked my pound” dad said angrily “I am in serious trouble” I said worriedly “You are not allowed to have ice-cream for the next three years”
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Hello Saif,
Thank you for writing the prompt in bold so it’s easy to see.
OH, NO! You’ve found the best chocolate ice-cream in the world and now been banned from eating for three years. I suppose we can understand your dad’s point of view, it would have been better to have asked for the money for the best chocolate ice-cream in the world…
This is well written Saif. You have used the prompt well and have been using speech. The only suggestion might be to take a new line as each person speaks. This helps the reader better understand who is talking.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC.
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher, NSW, Australia
Well done Saif, this is a very good story which i have really enjoyed reading.
Keep entering the 100 word challenge